you make my bones ache

i wrote a story today. i didn't plan what to write. the words just fell from my pen onto the page. i don't know who i was channelling but i couldn't tell if what i was writing about was an experience of my own, someone else's, or maybe everyone all together. maybe i wrote about what the entire world was thinking and feeling and wishing and wanting and dreaming. i wonder if i could turn back time and do something different - would it have turned out the same? would you have changed as much as you did? the memories i have are so painful for me to remember but at the same time they are the only link i have to realising that what happened between us was real and not a faraway dream.